Live Today

As I've spent today quieting my soul and praying for two very important needs, I am reminded of all that I have to be thankful for and just how many times the Lord has shown Himself to be faithful in my life. In part, my heart is heavy (yet hopeful) for a friend that is in much need of a miracle today. I know that our Lord can heal - it's a question of if He will do it.

Today, He put on my heart a list of things I'd do if I knew today were my last. I think, in part, He wanted to show me what's deeply hidden inside and also to give me hope for the things I cannot see. If today were my last day . . .

1) I'd spend every minute of it with my family.

2) I would eat ice cream with Ean and relish in his joy and excitement of a "special treat" just with mommy.

3) I'd watch Ean and Evy play in the water and enjoy getting drenched (especially as Ean loves to pour water over her head.)

4) Ean and I would watch as many episodes of Curious George he wanted, and I'd hold him closely as if to never let go.

5) I'd record a message to Evy - telling her about the great love her birth mom had for her and how God led us to her in Ethiopia.

6) I'd go back to the swing that Carlos and I used to sit on when we were dating and just enjoy talking with him while staring at the stars in the sky.

7) Carlos and I would enjoy a raspberry ravioli from Naples. Yum.

8) I would spend time with my dad praying for courage to ask him if he knows Jesus. I'd fearlessly pray with him to receive Christ.

9) I would share with my mom how proud I am of her and all that she has endured in her life. I would finally tell her how thankful I am for all the sacrifices she made for me and how I believe God knew exactly what He was doing by choosing her to be my mom.

10) I would hold my kids with Carlos and pray until the night ends that they would both know the grace, love, and great friendship that our Lord wants to have with them both as they grow old. And, I would ask the Lord one last request...to keep them safe, to protect them, and to guide them down the path of their lives.

Oddly, the Lord has always spoken to me through songs. I don't sing well, and I'm not a musician - but He's always used music to speak to me. I would say, "life just comes out in a song in my heart." So, as I reflect on today, I am reminded of a song. I'm not a huge country fan, but these words seem to sum up today:

"He said I was in my early forties, with a lot of life before me
And one moment came that stopped me on a dime
I spent most of the next days, looking at the x-rays
Talking bout' the options and talking bout' sweet times.
I asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end
How's it hit 'cha when you get that kind of news?
Man what did ya do?
He said

I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'"