Do you ever have days where you just can't seem to get it together? You loose the car keys (happens daily in our house). You forget to wash the laundry and now there's no underwear or you hop in the car late for your appointment to discover the gas tank is sitting on empty?
Ah, that feels like my life lately. My eyes have been turned down staring daily at where my feet are taking me. I've been consumed by ever tantrum by everything that just hasn't gone right instead of keeping my eyes focused up on the One with the master plan.
How easy it is to loose hope and take out your frustrations on the ones you love the most. This morning, I was reminded that no matter how far away I feel from God He is never far away from me.
I was running late this morning, and I quickly accused my son of loosing the car keys. Now, this isn't an unusual occurrence in our house. My son loves to play in our cars. It is, indeed, his favorite activity. He can spend hours sitting in the drivers seat listening to the radio, playing with the buttons, locking and unlocking the doors and gleefully running to open the passenger door to give me a "beso" before returning to repeat the fun cycle all over again. He relishes it. His eyes light up and his feet quicken when he knows he can play in "daddy's car." I, on the other hand, would rather do just about anything than sit in the blazing hot car while he flickers the caution lights. But, I know that one day, I'll look back on those moments with yearning to do it all over again. So, for now, I try to enjoy it.
So, when the keys were missing this morning, it wasn't out of the question to assume he took them and lost them somewhere on the premises. I found him in the garage and began expressing my frustration for his loosing them again. I made him leave the garage and go inside. A few minutes later, I discovered them in my purse. Yeah. Gulp. Oh, "Great Organized One" actually misplaced the keys myself. My heart dropped, and I went to him to apologize.
One thing we believe strongly in our parenting is to try to acknowledge our mistakes to our kids so they understand that we all make them, but also so they can experience grace and forgiveness. I sat down beside him and explained my mistake. I asked for his forgiveness. I was sad. Disappointed in myself. As I walked away, he said, "Thank you for apologizing mommy." I said, "I love you Ean" and he replied, "I love you too mommy." Then, I cried.
In a moment, God used my son to speak directly to me....that no matter what I do or how I feel He loves and forgives me. So, today, I am thankful for lost keys. I am thankful for my sweet son, and most of all I am thankful for His grace.
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